Squirrels On Snark

The Squirrel Queen has moved

2007-06-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

The Squirrel Queen has moved and is hanging out in another giant oak of a blog.

To follow the current snarky adventures of the Squirrel Queen, head over here.

Birthday plus one

2007-01-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday and it was a great one. Thanks to all who sent wishes, cards, e-cards and comments my way.
There were sausage and biscuits and ribs and cake and fried pickles and good beer. OK, the cake wasn't served with the pickles and beer, that came at a different time, but I enjoyed every bite and swallow of it all.
I spent time with both family and friends and missed all those who weren't able to visit with me on my big day.
At the rib place, Newscoma and I saw an elderly lady wearing a wig and sparkly red shoes that would make Dorothy from Kansas quite jealous. We could hardly contain our glee. At another table a woman with huge hair in a pink windsuit ate her entire meal while wearing dark wraparound sunglasses.
I talked about spirits and spectres and reincarnation while sharing spirits with another Stephanie.
Wish you all could have been there.
THANKS AGAIN and let's all make a date to hang out Jan. 25, 2008.

Pebbled panes Snap Day 10 Jan. 10, 2007

2007-01-10T20:44:00.000-08:00

Now that I've caught you up on yesterday's pic, for Project 365, it's time to turn our attention to today's effort.
It's a bathroom window in an old building in downtown Martin, Tennessee.
Late afternoon sunlight muted by the pebbled glass.
Day 10 is completed.

Hot Diggity Snap Day 9 Jan. 9, 2007

2007-01-10T19:37:00.000-08:00

I posted this in my Flickr group yesterday to update my Project 365 set for Day 9 but didn't take time to add it here to my blog.
So, I'm catching up tonight.
Doesn't it look tasty? A frank available and fetched mere feet from sweaty teenage boys. Dining ala gym.
Love the artistic splash of condiment, errr, I mean, color.
Become hypnotized by the disco ball effect created by the aluminum foil wrapper.
See the glistening dog in all its glory.
Hallelujah ... Hot dog.

Cat scat fever

2007-01-09T05:24:00.000-08:00

Not being a connoisseur of coffee, I still find it a little hard to believe that this particular blend is popular. A shop in Minnesota is selling a style of coffee, Kopi Luwak, that is created from beans that are eaten by Civet cats. Thanks to fark for pulling this one out of their butt.
Let's think about how those beans, some of the most expensive anywhere, are recovered. Yup, they have to be pooped out before they're ground into the delectable cup of joe (not to be confused with Cup of Joe Powell) which is so coveted it costs $10 per cup. Although, if I had to dig through poop to pull out some beans so some whacked-in-the-head java jonesers could sip on it to stay warm in the winter in the Land of 10,000 Lakes, I'd sure as Civet cat s**t charge an arm and a leg.
Here are some of the words and phrases used to describe this java jive (a great tune by the Ink Spots, natch) - "thick with a hint of chocolate", "incredibly full bodied", "lingers on the tongue", "very rich and soft". Mmmm, tasty.
Boingboing has another article on this caca coffee.
Apparently, the Japanese are the biggest buyers of this bm bean, which doesn't surprise me. These are also the same kamikaze diners who risk death to eat the poisonous blowfish.
I think I'll stick with celery and water today.

Elvis is everywhere Snap 8 Jan.8, 2007

2007-01-08T16:33:00.000-08:00

In honor of the King's birthday today, I've opted to share a little peak into my office.
It's my Day 8 addition to Project 365, a picture a day.
On my mini magnetic bulletin board, I've got two homages to the Hound Dog himself.
First a magnet of Big Elvis I purchased after seeing this huge impersonator perform in Vegas. The Chunk of Burning Love can sing (what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, baby) and he does sound like Elvis. He might actually have looked like Elvis if the dude from Tupelo had lived another 15 years or so with each and every day including 4 to 6 heaping helpings of fried food.
Also on the board is a postcard with Red Grooms' depiction of the swivel-hipped one. It was a promotional mailing for a Grooms exhibit in Memphis last summer.
Unfortunately, my temporary tattoo of El Vez that I bought after his concert in Memphis about 8 years ago was on my fridge and not at work.
I don't actually own any real Elvis stuff, but the junk surrounding him is pretty fun.
Happy Birthday to the King.

Fallen Frankenstein Snap Day 7 Jan. 7, 2007

2007-01-07T16:12:00.000-08:00

I had several options for my addition to my Project 365 group. There were raindrops and puddles and pictures of my niece, but then as we waded in a neighbor's flowing ditch, I came across my contribution, a fallen Frankenstein fingerpuppet abandoned on the side of the street. Just two months after wiggling on a delighted child's digits, Frankie was now relegated to roadside trash status. After documenting its residency in the roadside gravel and grass, niece and I decided to see if Frankie would float. Alas, the green guy didn't (but, then, neither do witches, eh), but the flow of the water did send him into a hole underneath the culvert out of reach. It was reminiscent of the raft going over the waterfall in the opening credits of "Land of the Lost."

Here are some of the other snaps from the day that I thought worthy of sharing.

These are my and my nieces red rain boots. I got a pair in the fall and she was so enamored with them that we bought her a pair for Christmas. I believe this is their first trip out ito the wet.

This is a giant oak reflected in a puddle in the yard. The puddle was created when rainwater collected in a hole that resulted when another giant oak in our yard had to be cut down. The giant stump made a thump and a trench when it fell.

Here's a raindrop clinging to the branch and a seed pod on a bush in the yard. The blue in the background and in the raindrop is a refleciton of a lawn chair.

scary squirrel

2007-01-07T08:13:00.000-08:00

Since a computer crash a while back cost me all my squirrel pics, I was spending this morning searching for good snaps of squirrels to use now that I've got photoshop again (woohoo).
That's when I found this creepy plastic squirrel with crazy red hypno eyes.
According to the Web site, it's available for purchase for $4. What a bargain.
Here's part of how they descibe this terrible trifle, "Our realistic-looking red-bellied tree squirrel is made of hollow plastic and measures 5 1/8 inches from nose to tail and 3 inches high to the tips of the ears. The body is moulded with a fur-like pattern and details that almost make it seem real."

Oddly enough, there's no mention of the zombie eyes which has already compelled me to order 5,283 of these little creatures.

NFL web Snap Day 6 Jan. 6, 2007

2007-01-07T06:37:00.000-08:00

I got caught in the web of the NFL yesterday.
After running and running for the past month, I had no where to be Saturday except on my couch. YAY!
I took full advantage of laying around like a bag of rocks.
By Saturday night, I'd set aside my Rogue Dead Guy ale (thanks Squeegee Monkey) and settled on water in my big ol Halloween tumbler.
With John Madden in the background and everything within easy reach on the nearby table, I reclined like a hibernating bear.

I must admit I fell asleep before the fabulous Seahawks/Cowboys finale, but saw most of the first half. Hurray Seahawks. (Yes, I'm a Cowboy hater.) I did get to see Peyton and his newfound defense stop the listless Chiefs (except for Ty Law.)

I'm ready for another day of football. Hut, Hut.

In the foreground of the photo you'll note a set of clickers. Keep your friends close and your tv remotes closer (that's my adage). Especially when you live with a chronic surfer who'll filter through every channel and then leave the grid up dominating 85 percent of the screen without ever selecting a new program.
I took some pics of my dogs and my pantry (see earlier post), but they didn't seem to capture the day.
So here it is - my Project 365 pic (Day 6) for Saturday.
I'm thinking of joining the Photo Hunters with Kerry Woo. Might be another adventure for me.

Amen to Ramen

2007-01-06T11:11:00.000-08:00

College students and former collegians everywhere are mourning today as the inventor of the Ramen noodle has been strained through the big colander of life and passed on to the other side.
At age 96 Momofuku Ando has suddenly passed away.
Yes, drunken, hungry students owe a great debt to the man who created this cheap confection.
For those of us who have subsisted for long periods of time on his delightful concoction, we say sayonara and travel peacefully.
The salty bit of broth and bland noodles are still a comfort food for the Squirrel Queen and, as the photo of my pantry professes, are on hand at all times. Nothing beats a big bowl paired with a grilled cheese (stomach suddenly rumbles with desire).
Maybe that's what I'll ingest as a late lunch in honor of Mr. Momofuku.
Sayonara from the Squirrel Queen.

In or Out Snap Day 5 Jan. 5, 2006

2007-01-05T14:55:00.000-08:00

Are you in or out?
What I saw today was the split created by the door between the knobs at the entrance to my bunker at work.
Please note the loving care and attention to detail by the painters. Spreading not just the blue but some white on the right knob. True craftsmen, I tell you.
It's my rendition for Day 5 of Project 365, posting a photo a day on the web.
It was just too rainy and messy to get out and about today, so I reverted to my office. Lazy me.
(If you go to the link for KNOBS you'll see a pic of a squirrel with a bunch of antique door knobs on the site for knob collectors. That was pure karma on my part to find that one.)

Down went the rain Snap Day 4

2007-01-04T19:18:00.000-08:00

Rainy afternoon, a red wall, running water = picture of the day.
I took some from a profile/side angle but the shots looking into the mouth of the beast seemed to be the most compelling.
Love the red wall as a background.
Drip, drip, drop I can't stop.
It's a bit off-center, but maybe that adds to its charms.

Said the Spider to the Crack Dealer

2007-01-03T19:29:00.000-08:00

"Will you walk into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly;" begins the old poem by Mary Howitt.
I found a video on YouTube that is a cautionary tale of another type.

But, dang it, I can't get this hysterical video embedded but I'm still jonesing to share it with you.

Nancy Reagan and I both DARE you to watch.

Found it courtesy of Fark.
It needs to be seen by everyone.

Snap Day 3 God and Country

2007-01-03T18:19:00.000-08:00

Here's the Day 3 version of my Project 365. I had computer problems at work today, so I had no time to scout for shots around the office. I thought I would find something when I got home tonight.
Instead, on my drive back to the house, I caught sight of this monument in a small cemetery on the outskirts of Martin, Tennessee. The flag was lowered to half staff to honor President Ford's passing. I turned around and went back to to take some shots.
When I first arrived, there was no breeze, so the flag was hanging limply next to the pole. I snapped some shots and walked back to my truck. When I turned around to open the door, I noticed the wind had begun to unfurl behind the monument.
So, I headed back with the camera and caught this one before the breeze died down again.
I'm not usually sentimental about such settings, but this was one iconic moment I couldn't pass up.
When I started this, I figured I'd end up with lots of goofy pics of my desk or my dogs, so far after 1/122 of the project I haven't had to revert to that.
We'll see how long that lasts.

Snap Day 2 - Avian Car Wreck?

2007-01-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

It's Day 2 of my rendition of Project 365.
I took some pics at a car wreck this morning for work, but I certainly hoped something more appealing would come into my viewfinder before the day was through.
On a quest late this afternoon, I carried the camera out the back door of the office and noticed this feather caught in a small decorative evergreen in a planter outside the office next door.
Snap!
Maybe this is the debris of a car wreck of another sort. See, there's this hawk that flies around downtown and occasionally picks off pigeons. He had one trapped in the middle of the street early one recent morning, but an oncoming car forced him to release his prey, which lifted up and out of sight to safety.

It's not too late to begin Project 365. Grab a camera and jump on board this bandwagon.

Project Pic-a-day a.k.a. SNAP

2007-01-01T22:17:00.000-08:00

Project Pic-a-day should not be confused with Project Runway.
There's no supermodel Heidi Klum to host my Project Pic-a-day, just the Squirrel Queen here to share her New Year's Day choice for a time eater for 2007.
Thanks to Newscoma, I learned about an idea for taking and posting a snapshot a day for 365 consecutive days.
I've joined a group on flickr called Project 365 and the tree at left is my first contribution. I took it about 8:45 this morning on a farm just outside Martin, Tennessee.
If you're interested in joining in, you don't have to start on New Year's Day. Lots of people in the group began their personal projects within the last three months. It's not about when you start, but about plugging and snapping along for 365 days.
I think this will be fun and also challenging. I know there will be days when I'll be pressed to come up with something visually interesting and I know there will be other days when I use something I snapped for work. I don't consider that to be cheating if it's the best thing I took a photo of that day. It's still a pic that I shot.
Right now I plan on posting my pics here as well as on my flickr site.
So, here we go.
SNAP!

Happy Anniversary Baby

2007-01-01T20:48:00.000-08:00

Today is my first blogging anniversary and the Squirrel Queen wants to take this time to say thanks to all the great people who've paid a visit to this little knot hole in cyber space.
I spent New Year's Day a year ago setting up this blog, picking out templates, creating my global squirrel moniker and writing my first post.
This blog has brought me many gifts - an outlet to rant and rave, a chance to work on my mad photoshop skeelz and lots of new friends and through those fellow bloggers new experiences.
I've been neglectful of this little outpost in recent months, but I'm planning on more diligence and activity here.
As expressed in my last post yesterday, 2006 took me for a ride in many different directions, literally to some grand mountain tops (thanks Smiley) and to some not so great valleys. From mortality to computer freakouts to the Mother Ship, it's all just fodder for future flashbacks and I'm no different than any other living, breathing squirrel on this big, blue marble.
I still don't have photoshop on this PC yet, so I'm stuck with linking to images, blah. Hopefully, I'm taking care of that problem this week, so soon it will be more squirrels in more extravagant settings and situations. (Fingers crossed).
So during this autobiographical pause, I'd like to say thanks to all you carpal-tunnel suffering surfers who've popped into this site and from there into my life. You've made an impact and made changes for the better.
Thanks so much.

Sayonara 2006 (The Suck)

2006-12-31T14:40:00.000-08:00

For those of you prepping for a big bye-bye bash to the suckiest year ever (screw you 2006, because you sure screwed me and plenty of folks I know), I've found some helpful advice from the folks at The National Headache Foundation.

What I'm getting from this press release is we need to chug a pint of canola oil and chase it with a big glass of water before the party, then have some honey and bouillion afterward. MMMM, mmm good.
Happy New Year to everyone from
Squirrel Queen

HANGOVER HEADACHE

Tips to Ease Holiday Overindulgence from the National Headache Foundation
Throughout the year, many people look forward to celebrating the holiday season with family and friends. While these times can be joyous, they can also provide the opportunity to drink more than usual, which can cause the onset of a hangover headache. According to a recent online survey conducted by the National Headache Foundation (NHF), 92% of survey respondents noted that they have experienced a hangover headache.

This holiday season, 80% of survey respondents replied that they plan to consume alcoholic beverages, of which, 56% plan to consume at least three drinks. To help avoid or lessen the suffering associated with hangover headaches that often accompany these annual festivities, the NHF offers some advice and a headache-free drink recipe.

If you choose to drink alcohol, do so in moderation. Try to sip your drink slowly. Mixed drinks containing fruit or vegetable juices will probably have less effect than straight alcohol. Avoid red wine, which contains naturally occurring chemicals called congeners. Forty-one percent of survey respondents listed red wine as the type of alcoholic beverage that most frequently causes headaches. Congeners impart the specific characteristic tastes to different types of wine and other alcoholic beverages. Unfortunately, they also may play a role in causing headaches. Congeners are more common in red than white wine. Also, it is advisable to reduce the actual number of alcoholic beverages you consume. Spend time catching up with an old friend at the snack table with a soda or glass of water.

Eat some honey. Honey supplies fructose, a sugar that helps the body metabolize alcohol, is rich in vitamin B6 and can reduce hangover symptoms. Two tablespoons of honey on a cracker or piece of toast, before or after drinking, may prevent a hangover. Tomato juice, another good source of fructose, also allows the body to burn alcohol faster. The sugar in fruit and fruit juices may also reduce some symptoms of hangover, so consumption of these products can be beneficial.

Drink fluids containing minerals and salts. Liquids rich in minerals and salts offer relief from the dehydration caused by alcohol consumption. A cup of broth or bouillon, for example, will replace fluid and will not cause nausea. In general, replacement of fluids with beverages, such as sports drinks or water, is helpful.

Drink a cup of coffee. Caffeine may provide some relief in alleviating the headache symptoms and decreasing the duration of pain. The caffeine acts as a vasoconstrictor and eases the dilated blood vessels. Consider drinking a cup of coffee as soon as you wake up the next morning.

Take ibuprofen. While aspirin is okay, ibuprofen is typically less irritating to the stomach and can also ease the pain of hangover headache.

Alternate non-alcoholic beverages with alcoholic beverages. Drinking one non-alcoholic beverage between each alcoholic beverage reduces overall alcohol consumption and helps replenish fluids. An easy way to achieve this is asking for a glass of water in addition to your alcoholic beverage of choice when ordering a drink at the bar. Just 36% of survey respondents said that they had tried alternating non-alcoholic beverages with alcoholic beverages to reduce the chance of having a hangover.

Eat greasy food before consuming alcohol. While it is wise to be health-conscious and avoid too much of these foods in general, this is a situation where eating fatty foods may be helpful. If consumed prior to drinking alcohol, these foods help line the intestines, which causes alcohol absorption to take longer. In other words, a burger or burrito before your beer or Bloody Mary might be beneficial. Only 22% of survey respondents stated that they have tried eating greasy foods before consuming alcohol.
While a headache caused by drinking too much may be more common at this time of year, chronic headaches can be a problem at any time. Headaches are a legitimate neurobiological disease, and are treatable. If you are experiencing headache pain that affects your life, make an appointment with your healthcare provider specifically to discuss your headache problem and seek accurate diagnosis and treatment.

The NHF exists to enhance the healthcare of headache sufferers. It is a source of help to sufferers¹ families, physicians who treat headache sufferers, allied healthcare professionals and to the public. The NHF accomplishes its mission by providing educational and informational resources, supporting headache research and advocating for the understanding of headache as a legitimate neurobiological disease.

For more information on headache causes and treatments, visit www.headaches.org or call 1-888-NHF-5552 (M-F. 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. CT).

squirrel mullet mania

2006-10-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

Move over GI Joe.
Jerwayne Jr. is moving his monster truck and bass boat into your neighborhood.
Trailertrashdoll.com has created a companion for its Trash Talkin' Turleen Doll, the famous pregnant white trash doll that says such catchy phrases as "Pour me a double, I'm drinking fer two."
Ah, these Barbie ripoffs sporting mullets have allowed me to find a whole new world that appreciates and/or mocks the SFLB hairstyle. Not familiar with the acronym SFLB? Why, it stands for the obvious "Short in the Front, Long in the Back."
There are even international sites devoted to the infamous "Kentucky Waterfall" hair-don't.
If you think only hockey players in the NHL (Go Preds!) and Andre Agassi circa 1986 are the only jocks to rock the mullet, au contraire my friend. Long distance runners also love the long flowing locks (at least in the back). I'm digging their slogan, "It's a short sprint up top, but a long run coming down."
If you're now inspired to have a new look. Send your stylist to this site before you go under the scissors for your makeover.
Mmm, hhhmm, mullets!!

LaVergne, the Land of Milk and Pepsi

2006-08-02T05:49:00.000-07:00

The Squirrel Queen was solicited, but not commissioned, by Kathy T to create a new logo for the city of LaVergne.

After much goading, poking and prodding by her, the Queen finally conceded and came up with this little postcard blast from the past.
Now don't let the retro feel fool you. The lovely metropolis is a forward thinking outpost with passionate citizens like Kathy T and the gang who, when not rescuing drowning residents from the cool, tempting waters of LaVergne Lake, are diligent in keeping their neighbors informed.
(Kathy T., if the Mayor and friends want to adopt this bit of ephemera as official city business, just let me know and I'll come over for the unveiling.)
Keep up the good work!

Mother Nature pays a visit to Squirrel Queen

2006-07-29T23:57:00.000-07:00

When your small swimming pool becomes a haven for tadpoles, you know things have gotten just a bit out of hand. That was the case with my nieces' pool. A lovely shade of green with black future frogs flitting around in what I'm now referring to as Walden's pond.
I snapped a couple of pics of the little swimmers lurking under a huge tree limb, a.k.a. log, that's floating in there this afternoon, but the lighting didn't help me out much.
The evening cacophony coming from the newest pond in town is amazing. Croaks and chirps abound. Last night I grabbed a flashlight when I took the dogs out for an evening sabbatical and spotted several froggies a courtin' on the inflatable ring at the top of the pool.
Then tonight, Newscoma's arachnaphobia kicked in as she nearly walked into a good-sized spider spinning its web for the evening just before sundown. It was then I figured I'd continue my nature-themed photo run with some shots of said spider prepping for an evening's meal of moths and insects.
Later I was taking my niece out to look for early frogs in the "pond" when we came across the monster beetle squiring its way across the deck. That thing is gi-normous. I recscued it out of a bucket of water a couple of weeks ago. If not that one, then its first cousin. The thing is at least a couple of inches long.
Next freak I spotted was the slug. For some reason these things fascinate me. At another place I lived, we had some whoppers in the backyard. Python sized, I'm telling you. This one was just a wee little slimy thing despite its enourmous appearance in the pic.
Finally I got a gander of another web and its host.
I was like Marlin Perkins out there with my own little Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom episode tonight.
For those of you who remember the show, here's a little Wild Kingdom flashback for you. If you're too young to remember it, go see why TV junkies recall Marlin and Jim so fondly.
Here are the best of the nature pics I took tonight posted on my Flickr site.

Swami Serena says ...

2006-07-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

Leo - On Saturday, the answer is spelled out for you in your AlphaBits. Look to the cereal. For luck Monday, avoid left-handed people. Wednesday will take a turn for the better if you keep a mitten tucked in the toe of your shoe.

Virgo - The stars shine down upon a new venture involving Styrofoam on
Saturday. Monday means more hard labor. Don¹t forget to bring your
pickax with you. A neighbor is in need on Wednesday. Cross the line and offer
a helping hand.
Libra - The scales tip in your favor on Sunday. Enjoy being on the high
side while it lasts. For luck on Monday, take a new path on a familiar trip.
Wednesday a phone call creates questions.
Scorpio - An angry fast food worker must be avoided
on Sunday. Tuesday¹s main topic will be television. Wear your bunny ears
or you¹ll be in Jeapordy.On Thursday, a whiff of corruption surrounds a coworker¹s
conversation. The nose knows.
Sagittarius - Feel free to express yourself on Saturday. The right people
will be listening. Monday, your lucky number is equal to 58 times the number
of people who say to you, ³Have a nice day.² Wednesday a loved one
explodes. Be ready to help clean up the fallout.
Capricorn - The Goat will be in serious need of a hug on Satursday. A
phone call between 12:19 p.m. and 1:13 p.m. brings good news on Monday. It¹s
not a milk mustache, but the solution you¹ve been looking for is right under
your nose on Tuesday.
Aquarius - Spread your wings on Saturday. Take flight and soar. You¹ll
find a gold star by your name on Monday. Good job. Wednesday, a household
issue erupts. Be ready to wield your plunger like a jousting knight uses his
lance.
Pisces - Spend time in the great outdoors Sunday. Get back down to
earth. Monday will sail by thanks to help from coworkers. Give them a pat on
the back. Wednesday, an encounter with an angry Yeti could lead to
injuries. Keep the Bactine handy.
Aries - Don¹t fake it on Saturday. Let your true emotions be known.
Sunday a romantic notion should be encouraged. Fling aside prejudice on Wednesday.
Get to know that person and you¹ll learn more about yourself.
Taurus - Your lucky number on Saturday is equal to the number of magnetic
ribbons you spy divided by 4,370. Sunday, you hear the siren song of
the cool waters. Heed the call. Don¹t be blinded by the bling on Tuesday.
Look beneath the shiny surface.
Gemini - Saturday avoid a cat fight. Catnip can soothe the beasts.
Monday, build a moat around your desk area and defend your station from angry
invading mobs. Wednesday, the planets align to help you set sail on an
internal journey. Rediscover you.
Cancer - For luck on Sunday, answer your phone on the eighth ring.
Monday will be safe for neither man nor beast. Wednesday, in a hectic day,
take a moment for yourself.

An arm and a leg

2006-07-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

Finally, a gas station with a sense of humor in Rochester, New York. They actually put on their sign, instead of numerical prices, ARM and LEG.
Honesty in advertising is so rare.

Inappropriate/Appropriate Bush/Merkel

2006-07-18T19:52:00.000-07:00

Inappropriate vs. Appropriate.
After munching and mumbling on muffins slack-jawed while dropping "meadow muffins" into his candid conversations, the "Great W" has now made another faux pas.
Bush's "European Vacation" continues to provide Letterman, The Daily Show and Colbert enough fodder for a year of late night laughs.
In a G-8 meeting, he gave German Chancellor Angela Merkel an uninvited neck rub.
What a total disrespect for her. Yes, they may be friends (they did share a roast pig lately), but in a room full of powerful men, did his act undermine her authority in the eyes of others on hand?
For me there is a great issue here. Would he give a neck rub to buddy Tony Blair or Putin or any other world leader in a crowded room. Doubtful. To me this shows his disregard for public decorum. It was a mysoginist act. At least he didn't ask her to bring her muffin recipe to the next meeting. Wait, let me rephrase that, "hopefully" he didn't ask for her muffin recipe.
As a woman who works in a male-dominated field, I certainly see how W's actions could have future ramifications. In front of leaders of nation's where women are already subjugated and dismissed, such an act could rip apart what credibility Merkel has worked hard to build.
It is acts such as these that make me wonder anew at his social ineptitude.

Pug Bowling is much funnier than Squirrel Bowling

2006-07-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

While surfing about a million "Big Lebowski" links thanks to Kat Coble's post yesterday I eventually worked my way to this little ditty.
There's nothing like a little flamenco version of "Hotel California" combined with pugs and bowling to get you revved up for another day.

Squirrel Dancing Queen

2006-07-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

I seem to be in a dancing mood as a certain theme has run through my last few posts (thanks Abe).
I neglected to add "Where the Hell is Matt" in my earlier post so I thought I'd post again and add some other heel,toe,shuffle moves to this post. After watching his video a couple of times, I've decided he's modeled his moves, not on Fred Astaire, but Uncle Jed from the Beverly Hillbillies.
Apparently, Matt has inspired many to create their own videos you can find at youtube.
There are nearly 100 videos inspired by his around the global shuffle.
Here's just one set here in our beloved Volunteer State. I don't know the stars, but my hat's off to them. Enjoy and take some time to dance today.

Freakin Lincoln

2006-07-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

Oh, we've all seen those dancin' Ws and funky Gores, but how about an honest Abe getting his freak on!
Now that's good Presidentiary action, if you ask the Squirrel Queen.
Dick Clark, who as I understand it was a schoolboy chum of Lincoln's back in Illinois in the day, would be so proud. This is worthy of the original American Bandstand.

Zidane vs. the Squirrel Queen

2006-07-16T20:15:00.000-07:00

The Squirrel Queen saw the head butt heard round the world live last week. Since then the Internet has been buzzing with folks putting Zidane's forehead to good use.
Play along and remember, the Squirrel Queen says, "Always be a good sport."

Dancing around the world

2006-07-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

The Squirrel Queen is so jealous! She so wishes she could pack her dancin' shoes and hitch a ride on a steamer or a hot air balloon or the Concorde and travel around the globe over the next 80 days to show off her mad movin' skillz in exotic locales.
However, the Squirrel Queen is afraid of needles and thinks she might need a whole lot of extra shots to get across the border into some of these countries. Maybe she'll just watch the video again instead.

Hot Rod Hoakum

2006-07-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

Having watched an hour of killer ants (the real ones, not the ones that terrorized Joan Collins) on the Discovery Channel, the Squirrel Queen moved on to greater fare.
I'm now spending a couple of hours with some hot rod hooligans and the family they torment in "Hot Rods to Hell".
Classic stuff, this. Teens in button down shirts and dresses with patterns worthy of Laugh In-era Ruth Buzzi (and these are supposed to be the rough and rowdy kids) terrorizing a nuclear unit on the road.
Is it possible this film is what doomed Route 66, scaring travelers from "getting their kicks" on the famous highway? Me thinks not.
These taunting teens and their bodacious wheels appear to be about as threatening as a Care Bear on qualudes. The panicky mode of the family's father has an explanation in the movie's opening moments. He's sort of a high-strung type, as in nervous breakdown in the breakdown lane.
Here's another T-bird-riffic review of these caustic car-drivin' kids and their hot rod hysteria.
Hysterical.

hot dog heaven or petrified hot dog

2006-07-12T21:13:00.000-07:00

After Newscoma posted her lovely little tale about crazy cat lady sisters dissing their deceased mom in favor of a passel of pussy cats, I found this little ditty about a pair of pranking siblings who shared an obsession with a petrified hot dog.
The closest my family comes to this odd item-swapping phenomenon is a three-inch rubber flashlight shaped like a fish (the pocket trout) that is rotated from person to person as a Christmas present from year to year.

Einstein Casanova

2006-07-11T07:21:00.000-07:00

E(instein)=M(any)C(hicks)2

It appears that Albert Einstein had more than science on his mind.
Letters written by the genius indicate that he was quite the ladies' man, rebuking prior information.
The letters, released by a family member upon the 20th anniverseray of her death, indicate the Gene Simmons pose above may have revealed why he was so popular with the chicks.
I'm guessing maybe his brain wasn't his best physical attribute.

Ninja cousin

2006-07-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

The Squirrel Queen found a video of a talented cousin. The Ninja Chipmunk kept a feline foe at bay with its fearsome flipping and face-to-face bravado.
The Squirrel Queen has yet to divulge all her flippin' sweet moves.
Bruce Lee would be proud.

CanCan

2006-07-09T08:53:00.000-07:00

Art, design and activism come together in an attempt to end hunger.
Cool pics of three dimensional displays created entirely from cans and boxes you see on your regular trip to the market.
There's a slideshow of a variety of entries.
Don't miss out on the winners from the last four years. They can be found under the header "Competitions" on the home page.
Pretty cool visions for a good cause.

2006-07-07T11:44:00.000-07:00

The Squirrel Queen picked up the WKRN Channel 2 signal beaming into the NashVegas sky and flew in to the big city from all the way out in Podunkville for a meeting of blogging minds.
An amazing time.
I know I'll forget to mention some of the folks that I met last night and will have to do muy mea culpas to make up for it.
Thanks to all who asked about my recovery from my recent gastric distress. I believe I'm fully recovered. And thanks to the Channel 2 folks for inviting me in the first place.
The list of memorable moments is long and yet I'm sure I didn't remember something that is oh-so-worthy of being included here.

* Sista Smiff and Newscoma chatted about Country Music Hall of Fame tour guide memories.
* CeeElCee and I expounded upon home brewing, road tripping and canines.
* Kathy T and I palavered about wood-grained carpeting, squirrels tossing nuts, tossing our cookies, Girl Scout cookies and naming schools after Oprah Winfrey.
* Got to hear house-hunting horror stories from Daily Diablogger while Jag pitched in with her own interesting tales of visits to the homes of folks trying to unload an abode that involved poo and porn.
* Rex L. Camino was a cool retro breeze through the Nashville air. I'm sure he thought our recounts of local West Tennessee alien abductions and gigantic produce seemed farcical, but they were all true. True I tell you.
* Huck and Rex were the first bloggers we met. Huck kept everyone on an even keel while staying above the fray. Interjecting as needed to keep things rolling.
* Stephen King was just one of the topics Kat and I made yakkety yak about.
* TV on the Fritz was a delight and even offered an invite to a friend's gig after the blogger blab. Thanks for the extended hand. Next time we might take you up on it.
* I do regret not getting to talk about Bull Terriers with Aunt B. Maybe next time we can discuss the hard-headed hounds.
* Newscoma doing a Ringling Brothers worthy flip of a hops and barley beverage bottle off the bar and making a splash without drowning those encircling her in order to hear her magical motivational brilliance (did I lay it on too thick there, nah) during a discussion of drive-by Waylon Jenning spottings and the Dempseys.

It was quite a night and quite a display of overall brilliance by those in attendance.
Again, thanks for the invitation and the hospitality from everyone.
I'll keep my squirrel eyes focused on the sky in order to pick up the next Channel 2 signal sent into the ether.

"King of Enron" Conspiracy Theory or the Halliburton Witness Protection Program

2006-07-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

Being a fan of conspiracy theories at heart, the Squirrel Queen looks upon the sudden passing of "Enron King" Ken Lay shortly before he was to be sentenced for his multi-million $$$$ crimes with a skeptical eye.
Sure he's been convicted of fraud and conspiracy, but this man has old-moneyed friends in high places.
I'm guessing they're pulling off some kind of Elvis "The King" Presley type of fake death so he can take on a new life in the Halliburton Witness Protection Program (HWPP).
While the "living" Elvis has been spotted in diners and truck stops from Kansas to Michigan, the new Lay persona will attend Halliburton board meetings and spend relaxing weekends at Camp David tossing around a baseball with Dumbya. Heck, they may even trek down to Houston to the formerly-named Enron Field to catch an Astros game. While they're in Texas, they might head over to Dallas and take a drive around Dealey Plaza, site of another conspiracy.
Back in Washington, the former Enron King will be whispering in the ear of Darth Cheney, offering business advice on how to handle his volumes of Halliburton stock. He'll be putting pen to paper and writing no-bid contracts for the huge greedy corporation which the Pentagon will quickly sign and then black out in the next gakamazillion dollar budget they release.
So if anyone spots a new face hanging around the halls of the White House, let me know. Break out a camera phone and capture the newest member in the HWPP and create a successor to the Zapruder film.

Barf bag a gogo

2006-07-04T22:49:00.000-07:00

It appears anything and everything is now considered collectible no matter how little its actual value. Working on my previous post allowed me to discover a web site devoted solely to a collection of barg bags. The bags in my previous post's image are two sides of one bag from Yeti Airways.
I'm not making that up. The company's logo includes a big footprint inside a circle while the vomiting woman is on the opposite side of the bag.
A bag worthy of containing recycled jalapenos if I've ever seen one.
If you visit the link, check out the movie promotional bags and the political protest bags. Also, in the airline section, scroll down to Virgin Airlines Chunky style bags. They've got artsy and funky cartoons like the one at left on them to take your mind off your misery while your filling them up.
Always remember to Fly the Friendly Yeti Skies. The airline that should always offers complimentary copies of the Weekly World News to its passengers.
Apparently before the Yeti got his pilot's license and his wings, the big hairy fellow was tearing around a race track in New York behind the wheel of a stock car according to WWN.
Vroom, vroom.

Nacho average ride home

2006-07-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

Had a roadtrip this weekend.
I won tickets to see the St. Louis Cardinals take on the Braves in Hotlanta Monday night.
Newscoma and I took off Sunday morning and decided to stay in Chattanooga since it would give us a headstart on coming home on the Fourth.
Saw Pujols swat a double and a home run. Saw Smoltz work out of jams.
Drank beer. Took pictures of Newscoma with Johnny Bravo. Ate a hot dog (the actual frank was fine but at Turner Field they serve it on an entire loaf of bread instead of an average bun. It was similar to a hoagy bun. Way too much bread) and later, against the advice of Newscoma, ate a load of nachos smothered in jalapenos. I don't normally partake of the green, heat-producing slivers, usually just the orange gooey cheese. But I thought what the heck, I'm at the ball park.
Go for it.
Cards were losing and didn't look like they were going to recover and we had to drive back to Chattanooga so we took off after the end of the seventh. Normally I would protest the early departure, but I thought it just made sense this time.
I had developed a headache I attributed to the heat. Once in the car, over the counter medication eliminated the throb from my frontal lobe and kept my right eyeball from exploding out of its socket and splattering on the inside of the windshield.
I thought I'd feel better, but the intense headache was only masking my other symptoms - extreme nausea.
Once the headache departed, I could now focus solely on the tsunami waves rumbling from my inner core and working their way up my gullet and down through my colon. Now instead of perspiring from the 90+ degree heat of an Atlanta afternoon and evening, I was sweating despite the auto's air conditioning cranked to the max.
Trying to be a trooper, I drove for a while before I finally conceded and allowed Newscoma behind the wheel. I thought it would be better out of the driver's seat, but once in the passenger's area, I now had nothing to focus on other than my intestinal misery.
Before we made it back to our hotel room, I pleaded with Newscoma to pull over to the side.
Door opens. Projectile yakking ensues. Jalapenos and hot dogs rapidly evacuate the Squirrel Queen's gastrointestinal trac.
A word to the uninitiated. If you think jalapenos can burn your lips and tongue on the way in, just imagine another bout with them after they've stewed in hot, steaming gastric acid and are charging like the cavalry up your throat, back across your tongue and over your fever-parched lips.
That burning sensation sticks with you for a while, no matter how much water you swish around in your mouth.
It was my only purging, but I was nauseous the rest of the way home and considered requesting another visit to the breakdown lane on more than one occasion. The waves receded, each time leaving a tidal pool of gastric juices bubbling much too close to the surface.
Newscoma navigated us back to our temporary home where I immediately konked out despite a bout with chills.
After sleeping like the dead, this morning I awoke fearing a continuation, but felt fine.
Unfortunately, my traveling companion Newscoma had now been bitten by the bug that way-layed me the night before.
The good news is the bug's evil life span apparently covers only a few hours before the recovery process begins and we still managed to leave Chattanooga by mid morning.
Don't let this post fool you. It was a great trip. Good to get away.

Porcupine 1, Dog 0

2006-07-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

Ran across this pic on the Internet while surfing for something else. It's not some "alien" from another crappy SciFi flick. It's a dog who lost a run-in with a porcupine.

Apparently this canine pin cushion pic has circulated some via e-mail since it happened, but it never made its way into my in-box.

Thought I'd share it with those of you who've not seen it before.

I used to have a white Staffordshire Bull Terrier like this one. She, if in the right or wrong mood depending on how you look at it, would have tangled with a herd of porcupines. Best dog I ever had.

The pain must have been excruciating. I know from experience these dogs can be "hard headed," but apparently not enough to deter a quill. Makes me wonder if the porcupine is now naked.

creepy flock of starling

2006-06-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

I think I've found the inspiration for Alfred Hitchcock's flick "The Birds". Surfing the web I came across this short video of a flock of starlings determined to land in one evergreen, whether the tree is capable of holding their fluttering mass. Curious and a bit creepy.

alien invasion

2006-06-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

We've had plenty of chitchat about the alien invasion at our nation's borders, but another alien invasion has been neglected.
A scientist in India claims to have alien lifeforms.

Let me make this clear. He says he has living organisms that are not of this planet.

Even creepier, the aliens arrived in a blood red rain.

The small cells apparently have no DNA, yet have been replicating.

As a precaution, the Squirrel Queen has been keeping an umbrella and galoshes handy in case a cold, red rain falls on West Tennessee.

Bredesen and the budget

2006-05-30T20:02:00.000-07:00

It seems our state's esteemed leader has earned himself a big ol' raise while minimum wage stayed at the same level.
In honor, the Squirrel Queen has worked up a little ditty to commemorate the occasion.
Feel free to hum along to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song

"Come and listen to a story about a man named Bred,
A rich govaneer, easily kept his family fed,
Then one day he was sittin’ mockin’ you,
And up through the House came a money-adding rule.
Raise that is, pure profit, Tennessee.
Well, the whole time, you know, ole Bred’s a millionaire,
Senate said 'Bred sign that bill right there.'
Said 'Trashvegas is the place you ought to be,'
So they loaded up their raise and added salary.
Bills, that is. Votin’ fools, gubment stars. - The Bredesen Salaries!
Well now it’s time to say good-bye to Bred and all voted in.
And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly chippin' in.
You’re all invited back again to pay in Tennessee,
To give a heapin' helpin' of your hospitality,
Cost of Livin’ that is. Add some thou. Take your wallet out.
Y’all give more now, y’hear?

Patrick and the Princess

2006-05-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

So, everybody is rooting for Danica Patrick to win the Indy 500 this weekend.
If she wins, she'll chugalug some milk, (an Indy tradition). If she wins, she might kneel and kiss the bricks at the finish line, (a racing tradition).
If she wins, she'll drive her car into the winner's circle where she'll be greeted by many well-wishers (a racing tradition).
If she wins, she'll get a kiss from the Indy 500 Princess. (an Indy tradition).
Make that, probably, everybody is rooting for Danica except the Indy 500 Princess, who has to kiss the winner.
Kissing the winner of the big race is just one of the obligations for the fair maiden who wins the Princess crown. These women are scholars who must maintain a lofty grade-point average and follow a strict code of conduct, which includes a chaste public appearance with paramours.
But does this Princess code include kissing a woman in public.
I guess we'll find out if Danica takes the checkered flag at the end of the 500.
Vroom, vroom, vroom!

contraband ketchup

2006-05-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

Talk about mean, hair-netted
cafeteria ladies. A school in Arizona is limiting the number of ketchup packets students can get for free. After reaching the limit, condiment-craving students must purchase more ketchup.
And I thought ketchup was now a vegetable, according to the government.
The students have been forced to smuggle contraband catsup into the cafeteria. Some enraged kids have taken up a boycott of the school's food in reaction.
What's going on here?
Give the kids more of that red stuff to perk up that extra bland assembly line meal.

Squirrel Queen didn't push Keith

2006-04-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

It's ok everyone. He'll be fine.

Keith Richards fell out of a palm tree in Fiji, landed on his head and was airlifted to New Zealand for precautionary measures.

I just want it known that the Squirrel Queen did not push him out of the tree.

I'm guessing the good news is he landed on his head.
The rock and roll legend has survived countless drug and drinking binges only to injure himself in a fall on the sand.

I'm imagining his coconut landing with a resounding thump reminiscent of the sound one gets when you drop a watermelon on pavement.

Skeeters n skwirrls

2006-04-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

I don't care what the calendar says, it must be summer now.
It's official.
I've been bitten by a mosquito already.
I thought I might have a reprieve for another couple of weeks, but no.
Sitting in the dank fog at the ball park Thursday night covering a game, I felt a sudden twinge on my ankle.
Looking down, there it was. The evil blood sucker was partaking of my crimson nectar.
Yay, though, I triumphed and smote the infidel insect, leaving that disgusting black and red smear so familiar to anyone who spends an evening outdoors in the summer.
For the moment, oh so brief, I triumphed over nature.
Those times are so few.

Worshipping the Green Goddess

2006-04-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

Shopping with Newscoma today at Super WallyWorld, I took a step back in time.
We were trying to follow a list without throwing every this that and the other that caught our eye into the buggy. Unsuccessfully, I might add.
The number of items in our cart already well exceeded the number of "must haves" on our list.
That's when my eye was attracted to a clear plastic bottle filled with a mint green condiment I hadn't seen on shelves in ages.
We were strolling down the aisle, mustards to our left and ketchups to our right when we entered the Salad Dressing section.
That's where I beheld the creamy creation I hadn't espied in what seemed like decades. At the outskirts of the plethora of ranches and Italians and honey mustards and Paul Newman varieties, sat a glimpse of green. An unmistakable hint of herb-doused mayonaise glittering like an emerald in a bowl of rhinestones.
I actually had an audible intake of breath, such was my ecstatic state at my discovery. Stationed next to the latest fad salad dressing was an old, familiar friend - a bottle of Green Goddess salad dressing.
I couldn't contain my glee and shared my find with Newscoma who had a similar childhood flashback and resulting reaction. We snatched it from the shelf and tossed it into our buggy. Then we grabbed a second bottle to carry home with us in case we'd just slipped through some worm hole and traveled back in time and would never find that slip in space if we returned to Aisle 7 on our next shopping trip.
After securing our second salad dressing, I suffered some momentary trepidation. What if it wasn't as good as we remembered? What if our immature taste buds had deceived us oh so long ago?
What if our new ranch-drenched reality couldn't handle the 70s splendiferous savoriness of the Goddess?
Cooler heads prevailed and we brought both bottles home and introduced the nieces to the spicy, creamy concoction.
By the way, it was as good as I remembered.
In a time before pre-packaged and pre-chopped and pre-washed raddichio and arugula and spring mixes, my grandmother used to keep a bottle in the fridge to use on lettuce she grew in her own garden. My parents were more of the Thousand Island ilk.
Just the sight of that light green dressing sent me back to another age and another home. Maybe I did travel through time for a moment.
Yes, it was well worth the purchase price to have an extra bottle of Green Goddess and the memories it induced on hand.

Evil Annie Coulter bites again

2006-04-09T18:58:00.000-07:00

Oooh, she's so clever. At least in her own head.
The self-imposed "sex symbol" of the Conservative movement will unleash another batch of her scribblings in early June. At least that's what Drudge is dribbling about.
Ho hum. Until then, I guess we'll just have to wonder whether it's "Fair and Balanced."
Considering the title will be "The Church of Liberalism - Godless" I'm guessing she's on another oh-so not enlightening rant about what she believes that I believe.
The scrawny scribe has unsheathed her poison pen once again.
The worst news is this - it means she'll have another excuse to make the talk show rounds and spew her own hatred.
Almost as scary as her rhetoric is that clavicle which looks like it could slice through sheet metal and a sternum that put fear into my heart. Take it from me, that's not so sexy.
Blech

Barry Bonds overload

2006-04-09T14:34:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and tired of seeing Barry Bonds' big ol' steroids-inflated head on tv. I'll admit I prefer to watch ESPN over the Fox sports programming. I'm a junky for Sportscenter.
However, ESPN's obsession with Barry Bonds has hit a new high, or should that be a new low.
Over the past few seasons, the network has dedicated one reporter to follow the Giants' basher. Poor Pedro Gomez has been stuck trailing the surly slugger around trying to get a pertinent answer from the "clear" cream using jerk. He's given us updates ad nauseum on Bonds' balky knee and all the "No comments" and refusals to talk about the steroid issue.
Now the sports network has paid several million dollars to gain access to Bonds for a reality show - "Bonds on Bonds".
Apparently even some of the folks at ESPN aren't real happy with the network's new reality show. The New York Times did a piece on several of the folks on camera and behind the scenes complaining about the integrity of the show since lots of $$$$ were forked over to gain access. Even a bit more fishy is a review of the show on ESPN's web site which says we all should give it a chance. Read far enough into the piece and you'll find out that the reviewer is a friend of one of the people producing the show.
I don't ever plan on watching the show. If I want to see a head that size I'll watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade with all its balloons. If I want to watch an ego that size, I'll watch Simon Cowell on American Idol.
I'm so sick of watching him whine and cry about the media trailing him and the allegations swirling around his alleged steroid use.
It seems every two minutes on ESPN there is either a promo touting their inside access with him sitting on a couch bitching or at his locker bitching or, wait, just bitching about the media or a piece about Bonds and his sterling career and his chase for home run records. When he's not bitching, he's crying.
Oh yeah, let's all feel sorry for the "sensitive" Barry and his trials and tribulations. Boo hoo.

Squirrel with baseball fever

2006-04-03T19:02:00.000-07:00

Huzzah!
It's finally here.
I don't count that lone Sunday night game on ESPN as the season opener. Nope, give me a day full of action on Monday. Game after game. That's opening day.
Opening Day should be a national holiday. Kids should automatically be let out of school. Or at least radio broadcasts of games should be sent out over the school intercom so all the kiddies can be enthralled and learn to appreciate the best game in the world.
I love me some baseball.
I'm a diamond kind of squirrel.
I listened in to most of the Cardinals' thrashing of the Phillies before I had to go cover a local high school game.
After seven innings of high school ball, I listened to a few at-bats of the Braves/Dodgers game on the way home. It was back to the hacienda to catch more MLB on TV. Mm hmm, can't get enough of that nine-inning stuff. I scanned the box scores on the Internet to see how my fantasy dudes did today. Fair to middling.
All in all, my kind of day.

Happy April Fools Day

2006-04-01T12:31:00.000-08:00

Happy April Fools Day to all from the Squirrel Queen. The nieces were going to punk the neighborhood with some pranks with the neighbor boys, but their mom caught wind of it and, in true Barney Fife fashion, nipped it in the bud.
Bear has pulled a number of April Fools jokes on Newscoma and me all day.
Oh, to be a first-grader again.
Hey, is that your refrigerator I hear running, you better go catch it.

Sideshow squirrels

2006-03-31T13:27:00.000-08:00

Scanning the grid on TV this morning, I quickly scampered to the History Channel to catch an hour discussing sideshow freaks and geeks, P.T. Barnum and the like.
Nothing nabs the Squirrel Queen's attention like a good freak show. Plenty of black and white footage depicting the glory days of the denizens of the sideshow. The barkers would have gotten all my dimes if I was wandering the Mid Way back in the day.
Un PC, yeah, but I can't help rubbernecking at the rubber-faced man and his ilk.
It sent me searching around on the Internet to check out a little more. After Barnum's "American Museum", everybody knows Coney Island is the home of the barker and his wares.
Check out the site.
If you have an interest in learning the trade and hitting the road or want to learn how to swallow a sword, walk on glass. Step right up. They've got classes you can sign up for to release your own inner freak.
If you're more of a literal artiste, the same link will allow you to sign up for a class to learn to paint the banners that were huge billboards advertising the bearded ladies and alligator men on the Mid Way.
If you can't shake the mood and need to feed your geek, there are tons of links on the Coney Island site to both current sideshow attractions and their locations and to the historic sites that appreciate the glory days of the tallest woman and the tiniest General, Tom Thumb, and his kin.
Well worth the surf.

Fear Carl Spackler

2006-03-30T11:57:00.000-08:00

It's a Rodent-a-palooza this vacation week. Tuesday, I spotted a squirrel trying to upstage Dumbya during his Oval Office press conference. The critter was scampering up and down a tree, visible through the window behind Chimpy.
Then yesterday, I checked out several new T-shirts sporting the bushy-tailed beast available in retail establishments. It seems 100 percent cotton tees with witty slogans and imagery depicting tree-residing animals and their tasty, oak-originating treats are all the fashion rage.
Now today, I get to watch a gopher, (cousin to the beloved squirrel) give Bill Murray fits and seizures in an airing of Caddyshack.
Ah, the synergy of my week-long sabbatical is inspiring.
"Be the ball"

Samurai squirrel

2006-03-30T09:23:00.000-08:00

The Squirrel Queen spent some of the morning checking her e-mail. I got my latest update from the Independent Film Channel.
With my interest in samurai stuff, I was quick to check out their info on the new animated series Samurai 7.
Immediately, something caught the astute eye of the Squirrel Queen. Samurai Kittens.
With rodent quickness, I clicked upon the link and soon I was exacting righteous vengeance upon the offending kittens. My favorite weapon - lethal sword. My favorite furtality inflicted upon my opponent - the pool of blood. mwahhhaaaa.
My only regret is that I cannot act out this Asian annihilation as my squirrel self. I must use a feline persona, beh.
Kill some time, kill some kitties.

Squirrel behind a Bush

2006-03-29T05:38:00.000-08:00

My legion are always on guard to protect our best national interests. Diligent. Ever watchful. Where they are least expected. Like Tom Joad in "The Grapes of Wrath", where injustice is done, they'll be there.
Yeterday morning I happened to catch the Chimpy McBush press conference in the Oval Office in which he waved bye-bye to Chief of Staff Andy Card.
To my surprise, what did I espy in the window behind Shrub as he yammered on about the man who interrupted his reading of My Pet Goat?
Scaling a tree in order to monitor the mumblings and rumblings of Dumbya was a squirrel.
I've scoured the Internet in search of an image from the press conference displaying my legion in action, but apparently the stealthy patriot avoided all the still cameras in the press pool.
So, if you come across such an image of the bumbler being watched by one of my tree climbers, send it to the Squirrel Queeen.

Squirrels on Vacation

2006-03-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

The Squirrel Queen is on vacation. Woo Hoo. I was home over the weekend, but today is the first working day I've missed. Sweet.
I've already watched about a million movies, imbibed adult beverages, watched sports and eaten food that's truly bad for me.
I'm not sure the weather will allow any water skiing during my vacation, but eveyone has seen the video and knows squirrels love water sports.
Maybe I'll wax up my skis and rev up the Johnson (vrroom, vroom) Hey, I'm talking outboard motors here, people, get your mind out of the gutter, come on, keep it clean. It's the GoGos up there. Look at them. Wholesome, I tell you.
Clean living. As squeaky clean as Walt Disney World.
That's the life for me.
Ah, vacation. Living the good life.

Never fear, Underdogs are winning here

2006-03-17T19:07:00.000-08:00

I've spent the bulk of the day holding down the couch and watching the underdogs rule the NCAA tourney.
Who doesn't root for the lower seed, unless ofcourse your favorite collegiate gang of five is facing the lesser known squad.
About seven underdogs have ruined the favorites' season and are vying for Cinderella status.

I love it.
I know I was just celebrating the end of my basketball coverage a week ago, but I don't really watch a ton of games other than the ones I attend for work during the high school season. Once I'm done covering my teams, then I immerse myself in the games of teams outside my coverage area. Just like everyone else, March Madness takes over my brain.
I'm terrible at filling out brackets. It seems I always pick the wrong upsets, but it's fun to try to predict none the less.
I've got two more days of hoop hysteria ahead of me this weekend. Woo hoo.
And remember, there's no need to fear, the Underdogs are here.

Green theme

2006-03-17T13:52:00.000-08:00

Begora!
Happy St. Patty's Day to you all.
The beloved Irish may have driven all the snakes out of Ireland, but legend has it there are still a few green squirrels in the Emerald Isles.
While surfing and googling for pieces for my St. Patrick's Day masterpicece above, I came across this "scientific" site regarding a Lucky Charms experiment. It might inspire you on this special day.
I'm staying in today as I misbehaved last night. I guess it was a pre-Green Day (not the band, but I do love them) celebration. I did have a Guiness and I went to The Pub, but not in pursuit of any sort of Irish connection to the coming holiday.
Earlier in the previous evening, we attended a new restaurant that opened this week. They've still got some kinks to work out. Most of the food was excellent. Some dishes were just average, but there were a few things I'll order again. This new establishment is trying to class up our little town a bit. High brow dining with a well-stocked bar and eclectic menu. There's nothing wrong with that.
The proprieter renovated an old building downtown that was built in 1897 and was once used as an Opera House, thus she had a new moniker for her restaurant. It took her about two years for the restoration. Brava to her on her effort.

Kickin it Einstein style

2006-03-15T05:50:00.000-08:00

Spent yesterday out celebrating Albert Einstein's birthday and covering a baseball game followed by a softball game.
It's a whole new grind now where I get to stand out in the cold for a while instead of in stuffy gyms. At least it wasn't snowing. When these two teams played each other last year for their season-openers, we were pelted with rain then sleet and then snow. Ah, you've gotta love "spring" sports.
As for Prince Albert - genius, pure genius. He was 127 years old as of yesterday, born May 14, 1879.
"You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." --Albert Einstein
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein
"Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy."
-- Albert Einstein

Hoop de doo

2006-03-13T17:36:00.000-08:00

Huzzah! Huzzah!
It's over. I may finally recover some semblance of my so-called "normal" life. At least what I consider normal. Yes, there's plenty of room to point fingers and judge and throw rotten fruits and vegetables at my "normal," but I won't let that stop me from raving about the chance to hang out with my hounds and Newscoma and watch reality TV (I'm digging this bunch of Survivors and Racers! yep indeedy)
Yes, all my high school basketball teams have finally ended their seasons. Suddenly they started dropping faster than Bush's approval rating. (36 percent, yippee.)
Each and every team ended with a devastating loss. Tears were shed and guarantees of "wait until next year" were bandied about. I love it when they bandy.
After spending the last five weeks traipsing from the Kentucky/Tennessee state line down to near Memphis repeatedly then all the way over to middle Tennessee a couple of times, I can finally be home for dinner more than one night a week.
Set an extra plate at the table, hon. I'll be home for supper.

Champagne, Oscars & squirrels

2006-03-05T18:50:00.000-08:00

It's Oscar night.

Newscoma and the hounds and I are camped out on the couch glued to Hollywood patting itself on the back.

Ok, I'll admit the hounds have had a few tiffs over who was strolling on the red carpet in the most fab gown. There was plenty of growling and snarling when they first got a gander at Charlize Theron's big, shoulder-topping bow. Who told her that was a good idea?

We worried for a bit about John Stewart's slow start. But he got on a roll, thank goodness.

We giggled and sometimes laughed out loud during the look back at the "manliness" of Westerns past. We also got a good hoot out of Ben Stiller's green screen bit.

We were saddened by Lauren Bacall's struggles with introducing the piece on film noir.

And we can never take our eyes off Nicole Kidman. MMMhhhhmmmm

Champagne has flowed here in our abode. It's an Oscar tradition. We've shared this annual evening for the past 10 years. We gossip, giggle and debate who should win.

The tradition lives on.

spring has sprung

2006-03-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

I've experienced all three of my own personal signs of spring over the last three days.
Standing with the door open the other night to allow the hounds their evening sabbatical, it struck me that nature was providing a soundtrack for their stroll across the grounds. The frogs were offering a full-throated operatic score, giving me the urge to sit outside until I'd heard every track - every love song they were using to woo their future mate.
Secondly, I've spotted the bright yellow of buttercups and crocuses dotting lawns along my path to work. The hearty flowers are some of my favorites, willing to brave the cold, adventurous, persevering and daring not delicate at all.
The third sign still is visible on my windshield. I heard the first big obvious splat of a beetle meeting its maker via a collision with my Frontier.
Spring has arrived.
At least for now.
Will the sun and its accompanying rise in mercury stay or is it just a brief interlude of warmth, teasing us before the next hard frost or snowfall blankets the ground?

Show me your ...

2006-02-28T08:15:00.000-08:00

I'm not in the Big Easy today, but I wish I were there for Fat Tuesday - the Grand Finale to the 150th Mardi Gras celebration.

I love New Orleans. Newscoma and I have had many a fine time down there by the Mighty Mississippi. Anyone who has been there likely holds a fond place in their heart for NOLA. The food, the fun, the people - both tourists and natives alike - that make every visit to Nawlins something to remember.

And we will again someday make our way back there, no matter what damage Katrina may have wrought. The city is rebuilding and adapting.

To all those folks from along the Gulf Coast who've struggled through the last six months - Good luck to you and I'll raise a Hurricane glass for a toast to you tonight.

'Laissez le bon temps rouler' loosely translated to "Let the squirrely good times roll."

Squirrels & Scout's Mockingbirdisms

2006-02-26T11:58:00.000-08:00

A coworker has started a new Web endeavor.

Scout, as she is known online, has a new blog entitled Mockingbirdisms And Other Local Chirpings.

She's providing an outlet for local writers, giving them the publicity they often lack.

If you get a chance to read her own works, grab it and don't let go.

The woman has mad skillz to go with a pretty sweet jumpshot, so I hear.

Squirrels & Banjos

2006-02-26T09:03:00.001-08:00

The Squirrel Queen remains in a musical mood.

Thanks to Newscoma, I've got a little ditty not about a man named Jed.

Instead, it's dueling banjos, squirrel style.

I wish I could take credit for this, but I can't.
I did put together the little one-squirrel band to the left, but not the "music video."

Get your daily dose of squealing pigs, the General Lee, Burt Reynolds, a squirrel, a penguin (?!?!) and strange chickens surrounding a burning KFC sign.

sounds and music

2006-02-25T15:08:00.000-08:00

Trolling around the Internet today I came across a site, Rummage Through The Crevices, that offers links and downloads of interesting tunes, what they call "Musical Curiousities, Obscurities and Unearthed Treasures."
There's a lot of ambient music made from everyday common sounds and events.

I especially enjoyed the song that involved toothbrushes, dental hygiene and a balloon. You can download it on Rummage.

If you want, check out more of that artist's ambient music here at Naing-Naing.

A criminal wiz

2006-02-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

It appears a couple in McKeesport, PA. made an unfortunate "pit stop" at the local Kwik-E-Mart and gave an employee quite a scare with their urinal, err, I mean unusual request to heat up something in the establishment's microwave.

Their need for warm urine to beat a drug test while using one of those infamous Whizzinators gave the cashier a fright with it's physical similarity to a real human reproductive organ.

The good news for local customers is the store has replaced the microwave in question, so no need to worry when you're heating your frozen burrito. mmmm, tasty.

five rings and some straight lines

2006-02-24T08:03:00.000-08:00

To keep you in the Olympic spirit, here's a fun cartoon covering both winter and summer Olympic events.
For a giggle, give it a click and check out Mr. Otto.

Bode blah, blah, yada, yada

2006-02-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

The Olympics aren't quite over yet, but I'm definitely "over" Bode Miller and all the hype and hoopla surrounding him in the past few weeks.
If I have to watch another Nike commercial where he waxes on and on about how his perfect Olympics would be not winning a medal but performing some Zen-like runs down the mountain, I think I'll fling myself off the Matterhorn or at least Lookout Mountain.
His failures at Torino have left him with one last shot at a medal after not even finishing two of his events and managing a fifth-place finish and a sixth-place finish in his other two.
He's had equipment issues and attitude issues.
We've all heard the term ski bum. Now, he's got a bum ankle after an accident while playing basketball in Torino. I'm not going to give him grief for that, because according to some, hoops is one way the athletes blow off steam. They're athletes, you can't keep them under glass while they wait for their next event.
But a swollen ankle certainly can't help Bodacious Bode in his final chance at a gold medal in 2006.
I think all the pre-Olympic Hype has certainly worn down what good will he had. That and his quote about skiing while inebriated and then the sort-of backpedalling to please sponsors and the U.S.Olympic committee followed by his blah, blah in the Nike commercials which were omnipresent in the opening week of the Games.
Nike, who has spent the last 20 years or so laughing at Reebok for their Dan vs. Dave commercial debacle, now has their own advertising albatross.
Oh well, I'm still celebrating the US men's curling bronze medal.
Woo hoo.
And if you want to cheer for a US skiing medalist, raise a glass for Julia Mancuso, who earned a gold this morning.

Tag hag via Newscoma

2006-02-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

It appears I've been tagged.
I'm guessing this is a good thing. Whereas, in the lexicon of graffiti artists I would have someone's spray-painted "tag" on my broad arse in a rainbow of colors in a font that strains the eyes to read. I'm all about the street culture.
Any way, here's how this works, as I understand it (or at least as I copied and pasted.)
Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot. (1)(insert name here) (2)Rex L. (3) Aunt B. (4) newscoma (5) squirrels_on_snark.

Next, select people to tag:
squeegee monkey,
Batesville USA
cravensworld

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was going through a great deal of upheaval. I'd just changed careers and started a new relationship. After several years in radio as an air personality, radio was undergoing a radical transformation as live on-the-air talent was rapidly being replaced by canned liners.
I took a job with a sign company that was opening up a shop. It was my first job that involved a computer on an extended level and my first 8-5 job after working overnights for years as a DJ and the only person in the building. (It gave me a great appreciation for solitude.)
That job only lasted a couple of years as the boss was kind of a wack job who had no idea what he was getting into with this sign shop. At least it got me a trip to Montana to train on the software.
As for the relationship, it's still flourishing, growing and changing and I couldn't ask for a better partner.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
The same thing I'm doing this year - grinding through another high school basketball postseason, chasing teams all across West Tennessee as they try to earn a berth in the state tourney.

Five snacks you enjoy:
* Tortilla chips and rotel dip
* Mountain trail mix
* buttered-up movie popcorn combined with double-dipped chocolate-covered peanuts with a giganormous Diet Coke big enough to swim in
* Cheese quesadillas
* grapes

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
* Psycho Killer by Talking Heads
* Take me out to the ball game
* Harper Valley PTA by Jeanie C. Riley
* Proud Mary by Ike and Tina Turner
* Big Rock Candy Mountain

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
* Pay off all my family's bills so everybody gets a fresh start
* Set up trust funds for my nieces and nephews
* Buy season tickets to all my favorite sports teams and then get swingin' pads in the cities where they're located so I have a place to lay my weary head after each game
* Travel with my girlie to old favorite locales and new exotic sites
* Buy my sweetie the Porsche she loves to dream about and then hang on as we ride around squealing the tires from coast to coast

Five bad habits:
* Procrastinating (that's why it took me two days to get this filled out
* Bottling up my emotions
* Not telling the people I love how much I care about them often enough
* Not keeping a tidy and clean abode
* Speeding

Five things you like doing:
* Watching sports
* Sharing a good meal with my girlie
* Spending an afternoon at the movie theater watching a matinee and then buying a second ticket and watching another flick and then debating and analyzing the thumbs up/thumbs down attributes of the viewing menu
* losing myself in pop culture crap like Survivor and Seinfeld and My Name is Earl
* nothing, absolutely nothing, reaching a vegetative state as my arse melds into the weave of the upholstery fabric that covers my couch

Five things you would never wear again:
* tight clothes (I'm all about the baggy, saggy, not-so-form fitting fashion. Ultimately, my clothes should only touch me at the top of my shoulders and around my waist)
* flip flops
* jumpsuits (unless I'm pulling off some sort of elaborate Halloween Elvis impersonation involving a cape, a giant belt buckle and lots and lots of rhinestones and sideburns)
* a foofy prom dress
* toe socks

Five favorite toys:
* My dashboard hula dog
* My juggling balls
* My photoshop software (It's time to make the squirrels)
* My collection of flickers/lenticulars
* My glowing brain light

Where there's ganja smoke ...

2006-02-20T05:41:00.000-08:00

Where there's ganja smoke, there's ganja fire apparently and sullied yellow liquid in a sample cup.

Stories circulating around the NFL are saying that talented but conflicted running back Ricky Williams has once again violated the league's drug policy.

This is his fourth strike and will mean a year's suspension. (Whatever happened to three strikes and you're out?)

The story was first reported in Colorado, an obvious connection since it's the Mile High State.
Then it was backed up by two more "sources".

Ricky, Ricky, Ricky ...

You should have stayed in yoga school, paid the money back to the Dolphins and gone on with your own wacky tobbacky lifestyle.

Now, it looks like the NFL's mystery man will have plenty of time to study his downward dog position and holistic healing methods.

Squirrels & Squids

2006-02-19T14:06:00.000-08:00

It's been an afternoon of mindless television. I've given the last four hours of my life over to watching Peter Benchley's The Beast on the SciFi Channel.
Poorly done trash starring William Peterson (pre CSI) chasing down giant squid mamas in the local bay. Peterson has to be glad this flick has been superceded on his resume by his role as Gil Grissom. Matter of fact, he might think about having his lawyers sue SciFi for airing The Beast and reminding his newer fans of his lesser work.
Too bad the movie wsn't as interesting as the real giant squids, which finally made their debut on film last summer.

For a look at all things squid, including info about the footage of real giant squids, check out Squidblog.
It's got links to everything squid related, including movies with Japanese wrestlers taking on men in rubber giant squid costumes, squid fornicating info and knitted 25-foot long squid.

I will admit I saw nothing linking to Spongebob's Squidward, so it's obviously not all inclusive. Although, I think that is about the only tidbit of squid arcana not available.

Curling, not Moe-ing or Larry-ing

2006-02-18T13:26:00.000-08:00

The layer of ice across Northwest Tennessee has cancelled my basketball games, so I'm staying home planted in front of the telly watching the events in Turin.
For the third time this week, I've found myself zoned in on the thrilling Olympic event that involves broom-wielding Minnesotans taking on the best the world has to offer.
Yes, I'm addicted to curling. Who would've guessed that a game of shuffleboard on ice would hold my interest.

The US men's team has played its way into second place in its pool. The US women aren't attaining quite that level of success. According to what the TV analysts were putting out yesterday, the women made a strategic blunder at the end of their match, ultimately costing them a victory. They ended up losing in extra play.

I guess once the Olympics are over, I'll have to make my way down to the Senior Citizen center to feed my curling/shuffleboard jones.

Or just hold out for four more years until the next Winter Olympics.

Unfortunately, I'm getting too used to waiting in four year increments. All thanks to Chimpy Dumbya McBush.

Hydroplane in Vain

2006-02-17T07:58:00.000-08:00

I know cats are supposed to get nine lives, but I'm not clear on what the quota is for squirrels.

Whatever the total, the Squirrel Queen reduced her number by one last night after a scary hydroplaning incident on the way back from a basketball game.

Storms left H2O on the local highways and byways. I'd just driven through the heaviest pounding of the rain and wind without an issue. The precipitation reduced to a normal, non-typhoon state and I began to feel better about my trip home. Oh, was I wrong.

The Squirrel Queen was moving along at around the speed limit since the worst appeared to be over. The next thing I know, I feel my not-so-trusty truck lift as the rubber lost contact with the road. I shifted the steering wheel and didn't feel that comforting sensation of the tires grabbing back onto the pavement. Instead, my truck's rear end began to swing around. Fortunately, I knew there were no other vehicles anywhere near me on this four-lane stretch of highway, so I didn't have to worry about involving another unsuspecting traveler in my sudden misery.

What did concern me was the question of how deep the median was and whether I would come to a stop before I came into contact with the rapidly approaching guard rail that I knew resided in the middle of the aforementioned median.

Spinning in the dark, I initially tensed as my vehicle left the road, expecting a potential sudden stop as I dropped off into the median, debating whether my truck would flip over if it was too steep an incline. Instead of plummeting, the truck continued to skim and skip and spin. OK. So either this grassy span isn't that deep or I'm now floating across more standing water like the Delta Queen over the muddy Mighty Mississippi.
While pondering this, I continued to rotate.

Now facing the highway I'd just traversed, seeming to move forward in reverse, my next concern was the guard rail I couldn't see but knew awaited me.
I braced myself again for the anticipated collision and expected sickening crunch, clutching the useless "steering" wheel, foot firmly planted instinctively on the brake.

I didn't see my life pass before my eyes. Instead, I wondered what the force of the sudden stop would feel like. I contemplated the sound of the crushing connection the truck would make when it met the metal in the middle of the median.
Instead, I kept spinning. I faced to the forefront again and any sense of normalcy evaporated rapidly as my truck's rear end continued its circuitous route, again swinging around to lead the charge.
Concerns about the guard rail were now pushed aside by my curiousity about how long this event was going to take. How many loop-de-loops was I going to make.
Then I sensed the vehicle beginning to slow and, before I knew it, I was stopped.
My front bumper was once again pointed in the direction I had been traveling not so long ago. But now the truck was resting in the grass just next to the two lanes of highway going the opposite way. Again, fate smiled through the rain as no traffic was approaching.

After a moment's pause, I realized I was in one piece and my truck's engine was still running. Now, the question was whether I would get stuck in the wet terrain where I'd come to a stop.

Peeling my foot off the brake, I reached for the accelerator, applied some pressure and waited to see if I'd just spin my wheels or gain traction and pull back onto the pavement. Thanfully, with no hesitation, the truck nudged forward and I now had to worry about any damage the steering or underbody of the vehicle may have incurred.

I headed back into the town I'd just departed from, knowing there was an empty parking lot just a few tenths of a mile in that direction. The truck and I both eased onward. I pulled off the street and shifted into park in order to take inventory.

Heart rate - elevated
Breathing - rapid
Sanity - barely intact

As for the truck, it appeared to be fine.
Except for all the grass on my windshield and the clots of mud and grass that stuck to my driver side mirror.

After a quick run through my mental checklist, there was no longer any reason to remain parked in this dark, empty lot on the edge of town.

I slipped the gear shift into drive and retraced my slippery path on the way back to the office to write a game story before my deadline. A deadline and a story that no longer held my attention the way they had just five minutes before.

If a drunken Stanford tree falls

2006-02-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

The Stanford basketball teams will have to do without their familiar green leafy mascot for their next two home games.

It seems the student who brings life to the limbs got in trouble during a recent road game and was booted for cheering on an area of the court where trees are not supposed to be planted.
After being escorted off the hardwood by security personnel, it was determined the tree did not have a pine fresh scent but more of an alcohol stench wafting from its leaves.

A new mascot inhabitor was already scheduled to be elected in early March. Until then, Stanford fans will be forced to bring their own tiny tree-shaped air fresheners to the games for inspiration.

Cheney Fudd & the Magic Pellets

2006-02-16T07:41:00.000-08:00

Calling all conspiracy theorists.

It appears some algebraic forensic work combined with a hunter's knowledge of bird shot is casting a CSI cloud of doubt on some of the details regarding Quickdraw McCheney and his recent lawyer hunting expedition.
The folks at Brainshrub have been busy concerning Cheney's "Magic Birdshot".

While we're at it let's bring a new twist to an old saying - "A bird in the hand is worth more than a shot in the face by a member of the Bush administration."

On a more serious note, let's all hope Esquire Whittington makes a full recovery.

Do you want bacteria with that?

2006-02-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

During some surfing yesterday I came across this story about a Florida teen's science fair project.
The experiment the young lass decided to tackle involved sampling the amount of bacteria in ice served in sodas sold by fast food restaurants compared to the bacteria in the same establishments' toilet bowls.

Ta Da. Her findings point out that we're better off poking a straw into the john than in that giant cup o' pop.

Mmmm tasty.
But see, actually I'm not one of those alarmist germaphobes who freaks out at every story about a severed finger found in a bowl of chili or a tale about the chick with leprosy who works the local drive-thru window and served a kiddy meal that included her own detached ear.

I know how clean my kitchen counter is ... or isn't. I've got my own horror stories created in the very dining area where I live.

Gather round chirren and I'll tell you the tale about the time ...

Agony of defeat

2006-02-12T18:36:00.000-08:00

On a weekend when snow fell in mass quantities casting a white Shroud over the Eastern United States, the winter weather event was a great mood setter for the opening weekend of the Turin Olympics.

Shroud ... Turin
Ha Ha ha.
It's the small things that always make me howl.

There was ski jumping today and it just makes me nostalgic for the old Wild World of Sports intro. You know, the one where the guy helicopters through the air and basically crashes into a building in a jump gone oh-so-wrong.

As a child of the 70s, every Saturday had me planted in front of the giant Magnavox watching log rolling or motorcycles racing on ice or sumo wrestling or cliff diving. It was always something "thrilling", that's for sure.

Oh well, there have been some Red, White and Blue busts so far in Turin.

"Drunken" Bode was slow down the hill on his fancy new skis and flashy Apolo Anton Ohno bobbled in the final turn of his short track effort.
The "Flying Tomato" at least came through in the half-pipe, although it took a strong showing in his final run.

If I'm not in a gym, I'll be watching curling.
Now that's a sport worthy of Jim McKay announcing what boils down to shuffleboard-on-ice.
Count on it.

Cheney Fudd

2006-02-12T16:07:00.000-08:00

It appears our less-than-esteemed Vice President Dick Cheney has filled a lawyer cohort with bird shot while on a quail hunting jaunt in the Lone Star state of Texas.

Apparently Cheney's intelligence sources told the VP his hunting buddy was packing WMDs in his hip pocket.

The good news is the shooting victim will recover but will likely suffer PCHD
or commonly known as Post Cheney Hunting Disorder.

I can't read this story without hearing the refrain of Elmer Fudd's operatic "Kill the Wabbit" racing through my brain pan.

Bag full of hearts (not the bloody variety, though)

2006-02-12T09:51:00.000-08:00

I've spent a quiet Sunday morning lazing on the couch, one eye cast upon the TV (Something About Mary, still hilarious) and one eye focused on ye olde laptop. I bounced here and there on the World Wide Web and eventually landed upon my new favorite diversion cockeyed.com

I've read about science projects involving frozen shaving cream and others centered around gi-normous pumpkins. One extensive post involved the results of one solid month of dining out in Sacramento. Other diversions there include very involved pranks.

But with Valentine's Day approaching on Tuesday and me being all mushy about my girlie after her extended absence this week, what caught my attention was their scientific research on Sweetheart Conversation Hearts.

Light-hearted fun.
Be sure to check out the list of sayings on the hearts. Note some of the entries in the list have zeroes next to them. They're bogus sayings created by the "scientists".
Check it out and send it to your loved one for V-Day.

Locusts hit the stores

2006-02-11T09:43:00.000-08:00

The dreaded snows struck West Tennessee, paralyzing the area with its overwhelming, powdery downfall.
Yes, all measly one-and-a-half inches have brought the area to its knees.

While events were cancelled and lives reorganized to accomodate the wintery intruder Mr. Snow, local denizens still managed to drive across the frozen tundra to the local grocery and clear the shelves of all bread and milk.

I've never understood this phenomenon. The crazed shopper forging her way through the "terrible" driving conditions to buy slices of bread and gallons of milk. As if they were going to be stranded in their homes for weeks on end with nothing to spread their peanut butter and jelly upon nor any liquid to wash it down their gullets.

Yes, the roads were a bit slushy yesterday, but already the roads are clear and life as we know it has continued.

All despite the hoarding of grocery staples.

I thought bowling shoes were bad

2006-02-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

Now I've seen it all.
I thought renting bowling shoes was a hygienic nightmare, but even the communal use of shoes has been dropped way down on the ick list.

A story on Fark.com tells the tale of a "sporting" goods store somewhere in "The GULF" (not of Mexico; think Middle East) that has been renting blow-up dolls. It seems their interpretation of "recreational activities" is subject to interpretation.

Yes, you read that correctly, not selling, but RENTING.

Apparently, I know this may seem hard to believe, teens are the most frequent customers of this booming bidness.

But as often happens to entrepreneurs who are ahead of the curve, they are shut down and shunned. The boom has gone bust. It happens to the best businessmen. Just ask the good folks at ENRON.

Hoops H-E-Double-Hockey sticks

2006-02-09T14:02:00.000-08:00

Ta da.

It's here. When I type it, I mean the high school basketball postseason.

It looms at the end of every regular-season schedule. The teams anxiously play their way to it. Each game preparatory in their pursuit of a shining gold ball, their ultimate goal, representing a state championship.

I'm giving up my life for the next month or so in order to traipse across West Tennessee and eventually, potentially all the way to the 'Boro in order to follow area high school hoop teams.

So long Newscoma. So long hounds. We'll get reacquainted later. Oh, say, the middle of March.

Potentially, there are a pair of girls teams who could earn their way to the state's elite 8. The Westview girls will be making a return trip, should they earn it. It would be their third in four seasons. The Gleason girls will be building on their school's own rich tradition if the Lady Bulldogs get back to the state tourney. The Greenfield girls are trying to build a foundation of success after many seasons of mediocrity at best.
As for the boys, the county's best shot rides on the sneakers of the Westview Chargers. The Dresden boys are a dark horse. In total contrast to the girls in the area, boys basketball in West Tennessee (barring a couple of phenomenal squads) is on a downturn. There are several teams on the same competitive level, but that level is well below par.

So right now, I've got several road trips in my future in the next few weeks. Some of them will be of the 180-mile, round-trip variety for the regional level. Substate and state trips will be longer.

Despite the wear and tear on me, it is gratifying to see the hard work these kids put into their team come to fruition. As a mediocre high school player on a team that was usually below .500 in a completely different generation, I have no clue what they are experiencing. But it must be amazing or they wouldn't pursue it with such sacrifice.

So, I'll keep providing the scrapbook material and pumping gas into my vehicle as long as they provide the wins.

Toss up the basketball for the tipoff and let's get this thing started.

bon voyage

2006-02-08T05:17:00.000-08:00

Well, it was bon voyage to Newscoma this morning as she headed out dark and early for Nashvegas to attend the Tennessee Press Association winter conference.
She'll be hobnobbing with legislators and big-wig publishers.
Me, I'm stuck with five hounds, a turtle, two in-laws and two nieces.
I think I'm coming out the winner.

So, Newscoma, enjoy your stay in Trashville but come home soon.

And don't let yer trip to the big ol' Mean Streets change ye none.
Bite me.
000

Steelers rolling

2006-02-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

The Steelers eked out a halftime lead, thanks to a questionable offensive pass interference call against Seattle in the first half.
Then nabbed a bigger lead thanks to Willie Parker's record-setting third quarater run.
We'll see if the Seahawks can punch one across the goal line. Speaking of, I'm still not sure Big Ben broke the plane with his run for the go-ahead TD earlier.

kicking off

2006-02-05T15:47:00.000-08:00

Super Bowl XL (that's 40 for you non-Roman numeral reading fans) is barely under way.
No score as of yet, unless you're counting the number of 12 oz. hops and barley beverages I've imbibed already.
There is no over-under number in Vegas for that, so I won't reveal the results.
Stay tuned for Super gridiron squirrel updates.

Squirrels In Tights

2006-02-05T12:27:00.000-08:00

It's officially a trend.
Men in tights on the basketball court.
For years, the kings of the ballet have been mocked for their legwear - hosiery, leggings, tights.
Short shorts to baggy shorts to headbands to tights - now an NBA fashion extravaganza is already finding its way onto the high school courts.
It started with Kobe Bryant wearing black tights under his regulation NBA baggy culottes, er, I mean shorts early in this season.
Then a few other lesser stars in the NBA galaxy sported the leggings.
Finally, the new King of the hardwood, Lebron James, put on the legwear in recent weeks, causing another fashion buzz.
As a result, high school kids are now improvising their own leggings.
At the game I covered Friday night a couple of the local kids had come up with their own cunning plan to mimic their favorites in the NBA. Instead of full-length tights, the local kids were using what appeared to be baseball stirrup hosiery stretched as high as they could pull them until they nearly fit up under the bottom hem of their baggy uniform shorts.
Creative, yes.
Attractive, no.
Did it enhance their games any? One kid played less than stellar as a starter; the other mopped up several points in play among the scrubs.
It's gotta be the tights.

Squirrel Hoops on ESPNU

2006-02-05T07:08:00.000-08:00

Rah! Rah! Rah! Zis-Boom-Bah!
The Squirrel Queen had a unique experience on Thursday night. I got to assist an ESPNU crew during a college basketball game at Tennessee-Martin.
Great atmosphere, great game, great experience.
Got a call from my buddy Jo-Lo, the UT Martin Sports Information Director, Monday asking if I was available to work Thursday night. I'd already picked the Skyhawks' games as my games to work that night on my schedule for the week. A local young woman plays on the Tennessee Tech team and that was Martin's opponent for the night, so I figured it was the old two-birds-with-one-stone scenario.
What a day Thursday was. Folks where I work decided they wanted to rearrange offices on short notice, moving my entire work area to another floor in the building. Had to get into the office early to pack up my messy, organized so only I know where it belongs and what it is stuff and help move it upstairs. Then try to put away what I could that day. Trouble was, I lost an entire bookshelf in the move, absconded by my coworkers for their new area. Then, the shelves in my new space are rickety and must be braced, so I can't put anything on them until they get reinforced. Still waiting on that.
Hectic, stressful start to a long day.
Then I have to be at Jo-Lo's 45 minutes before the already-moved-up tipoff time of the women's game. Rush home, run through shower, run back to Martin.
At the gym, everyone is squirreling around trying to make everything perfect for the ESPNU folks. Always want to make a great impression to a national TV audience, especially when you're a small town and a small university not used to being in that glaring spotlight. Rained all day, so admin folks were worried the crowd might be slimmer than expected. Just one more added stress for them.
My first assignment was to key in stats for the box score in the women's game. My inaugural attempt at that. It took me a while to get the hang of it. Oh, wait, I'll admit I never did get comfortable, but I got through it, thanks to Travis, one of Joe-Lo's student staff, a veteran of the stat crew. Mighty Kudos to Trav.
As soon as the final horn sounded, Jo-Lo nabbed me and introduced me to the ESPNU staff. I was told my job would be to sit next to the on-air talent and feed them stats. I'd also be wearing a headset that was hooked into the truck parked outside where the director and the rest of his crew would work. I'd feed stats to them so they could use them as on-screen graphic info.
There was about an hour wait between the women's and the men's games as the men's tipoff had been pushed back in order to accomodate ESPN's schedule.
I got to go into the truck for a few minutes to talk to the crew there. It was a treat to get a gander at all the equipment and monitors and the hectic pace they put themselves through even in the pregame.
I settled in next to the on-air talent, watched them study their hand-written notes and rosters and listened to them rehearse and tape their game intros.
The gym was electric and filled to near capacity. The student body came out in full-throated force. Loud and clad in orange and blue, the students stayed on their feet and screamed from the time they walked into the gym to the final horn. Nowadays, everyone wants to be on TV and, according to Warhol, this was their shot at 15 minutes of fame. They grabbed the "fame" stopwatch and never let it go. It should be that way at every home game.
It was interesting to hear the ESPN crew fret over lighting. The Skyhawks are always introduced in the pregame in near darkness, that's a problem for a media that needs bright lights in order to bring their product to the viewing audience.
Oddly enough, the tipoff of Tennessee-Martin's game wasn't broadcast since the earlier game on ESPNU was still under way and the score was close enough they wouldn't cut away from it. So much of the Skyhawk pregame fanfare was only enjoyed by those in the gym. Only the ESPNU people knew it wasn't being beamed into living rooms around the nation.
Time for the game to start, I'm a bit nervous, anxious to provide the on-air talent what they need. I've got a monitor in front of me that is supposed to provide a running total of player and team stats. My job was to write down pertinent info and hand it over to the talent, while using my headset to tell the guys in the truck what they wanted to know and answer any questions they might have about on-court action and players.
Trouble was, when the game started, my stat monitor didn't. As a sports writer, I'm used to keeping up with some stats as the game goes along but I was a bit out of my comfort zone.
The game was fast-paced and exciting with plenty of high-octane offense, a perfect contest to be televised.
Finally, I snagged a UTM staff member and let her know the monitor wasn't working. It seemed like it was about halfway through the first half before we got it up and running. Once the stat screen came up it made my job much easier. I finally got a rhythm.
From there, it was a breeze. The Skyhawks got not only a big Ohio Valley Conference win, they got a great experience.
And so did the Squirrel Queen.
So, if you happened to TIVO the game, look for me on the sideline. I'm the one in the headset and the yellow shirt right next to the on-air talent.

Diamonds and Groundhogs

2006-02-02T00:02:00.000-08:00

It’s a little known fact that Kenesaw Mountain Landis, the first commissioner of Major League Baseball, relied on the prognosticating shadow of Punxsutawney Phil’s ancestors to schedule spring training and opening day.
Most modern-day baseball fans are unaware that before Landis’ election to the game’s top position in 1921, the sport used the Mayan Calendar, which featured a count of 260 days, to position the season’s first games. Because of the sport’s 162-game schedule, prior to Landis, baseball always symbolically scheduled the season opener on Day 162 of the Mayan Calendar. As a result, in certain years, the season did not get under way until November and the league was forced to play through the winter months. The phrase "boys of summer" certainly did not apply. With the sometimes-frigid temperatures, fan attendance numbers often took a tremendous dip during these winter-based seasons. Landis, with all his vision, realized that the Mayan civilization, though grand and dominating in its time, had been conquered and ravaged by the Spanish conquistadors. The man who ruled America’s national pastime feared baseball might suffer the same fate as the grand Mexican dynasty and lose ground to the Jai Lai craze or the competitive tiddly wink fad sweeping the United States in the early 1920s. Several marquee major league baseball players were already being wooed by the glamour and salaries of the fledgling Professional Tiddly Wink Association (PTWA). The smitten baseball standouts transferred their superior hand-eye coordination from catching flies in the outfield to flipping discs in the PTWA.
Baseball ownership was up in arms. The inaugural commissioner had to put a stop to the talent flooding out of his sport.
After much thought and several flips of a trusted Magic 8 Ball, Landis came up with an alternative scheduling guide, removing the Mayan Calendar from its prominent place in the diamond game’s history.
With the dependence on the 260-day calendar out of the way, the visionary baseball commissioner turned to the common large North American marmot, or groundhog, as it is more commonly known.
Though a native of Georgia and born before the invention of the Internet by Al Gore, Landis was wise to the meteorological connection the Keystone State groundhog had to impending weather. The baseball commissioner took the act of saving the game upon himself and wrote his solution into the game’s secret administrative bylaws, now under the tight-fisted control of the current commissioner Bud Selig and rarely seen except by those who know the secret handshake. Landis’ ground(hog)-breaking strategy stated that should the shadow be witnessed by the mammal named Phil, both spring training and opening day would be delayed by six weeks.
Landis’ action cemented the sport as America’s favorite and eventually led to the tremendous surge in popularity of the sport across worldwide borders. The World Series champion Montreal Expos are just one shining example of its international success.
So, before contacting a travel agent and buying a non-refundable ticket for a flight to Florida to catch Grapefruit League games in spring training action, fans of the diamond game should keep a close eye on that Pennsylvania marmot.

"Everything's OTAY"

2006-02-01T05:09:00.000-08:00

President Squirrely McBush took to the airwaves last night to try to convince Merica what a great job he and the Repubs are doing with his State of the Union address.

He told us we're addicted to oil. No joke. This is coming from a known oil baron and his filthy rich cronies and it rides on the heels of Exxon posting its grossly greedy quarterly profits one day earlier. Ponder that as you get passed by 42 dozen SUVs and giant RAM trucks on your way to and from work today.

Oh yeah, and everything is peachy for the US on a global scale. We're the ball busters of the planet and we're going to poke the eyes out of anyone who deigns to disagree, aggressively or passively.

Also, note Cindy Sheehan was kept out of the building because she refused to give up her right to free speech by changing T-shirts. Apparently, the Bushies were afraid a little dissent might take the air out of the big bubble of crap they were floating our way. I guess their wire tap of her didn't catch any fashion discussions before Dubya's big speech, so they weren't preparted. Or maybe the FBI Minnesota office didn't get the info to the Washington bureau in time or they just ignored the briefing they received.

Tankers full of oily cash

2006-01-30T17:59:00.000-08:00

XX-rated greed.

Make that EXXON-rated greed and greed is good if you're in the oil bidness.

On Monday, Exxon Mobile released a grossly exorbitant figure for its quarterly profit.
$10.7 Billion.
No, that's not a typo, that's a B as in Billion.
Also note that the $10.7 Billion is the profit acquired from us, the American consumer, over the span of one quarter, a.k.a. 3 months, not a whole year.
Add that $10.7 billion to Exxon's profits in the other three quarters and you come up with a figure that amazingly reaches an incredible $36.13 billion, a 42 percent rise over Exxon's profits in 2004. According to a Reuter's story, the $36.13 billion annual profit is bigger than the economies of 125 of the 184 countries ranked by the World Bank.

Exxon is also still trying to wrangle its way out of paying the fines it was assessed after the Valdez crash that soaked an entire coastline in slime. They've probably already paid enough in lawyers' fees trying to get out of taking care of their mistake they could have covered a pretty big chunk of their fine.
Greed, greed, greed.
What would Jed Clampett think of this sort of bubblin' crud?

Keepin' it Squirreal

2006-01-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

I love documentary films. I can't help myself. No matter what creative brains come together and create the most out-of-this-world scenarios featuring everything from people who survived a plane crash on a deserted freaky island to Empire State Building climbing apes to Jabba the Hut to Blondie to Laverne & Shirley, sometimes Truth really is stranger than Fiction. And often more compelling.

I've spent the past 24 hours or so with my nose pressed against the boob tube. I've just discovered a recent addition to my satellite selections.

The Documentary Channel has definitely grabbed my attention and on top of that I caught a showing of "Slasher" on IFC this morning. Last night's Doc channel offering included a viewing of "Almost Elvis" a doc about Elvis impersonators. I've actually seen that one before. I missed the offering covering Bob Marley that came on just before the King wanna-bes. I'm sure they'll replay it and I'll take a gander at the Ganja loving guy.

Then this morning IFC brought me the John Landis directed "Slasher" about a mercenary used car salesman who travels across the country spending three-day weekends at car lots doing his "Slasher" bit, hacking prices and probably eventually hacking off the customers who buy the lemons on the lot.

The guy was ADD and beer-swilling from early a.m. to late in the evening. Yet, you have to give him credit for loving his family and his friends. And the ability to talk just about anybody behind the wheel of a 1995 Escort.

Even more compelling was the fact this was shot in Memphis with plenty of images that are familiar to anyone who has spent a weekend in the cty by the mighty Mississippi.

I'm sure IFC will give "Slasher" plenty of viewings since it financed the doc. So, when you see it on your TV guide grid, mark it to watch.

Interesting, compelling, sometimes scary. You may never look at the process of purchasing a car the same way again.

Face/Off

2006-01-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

John Woo was way ahead of his time. The visually interesting director was behind the lens for the action flick "Face/Off" that starred John Travolta and Nicolas Cage and featured a Hollywood-version of an identity switch thanks to a surgical procedure that was thought to be completely beyond the realm of possibility. People scoffed at the premise when the movie premiered in 1997.

In reality, surgeons in France have caught up with the Tinsel Town concept, giving a 38-year-old French woman a new visage after a grisly encounter with her labrador left her face a bloody mess of hanging flesh and visible bone. Voila, the world's first face transplant. The first photos of the woman have been published. The previous link provides the story of her recovery and includes a pic of her. You won't be able to pull your eyes away from the image.

Obviously there are bound to be some psychological issues in this woman's future and those of her teenage daughters. What must it be like to stare into a mirror and see someone other than yourself?

Creepy, Vincent Price kind of stuff happening here.

Ban censorship

2006-01-28T19:45:00.000-08:00

It appears some not-so-forward thinking folks in Middle Tennessee have taken offense at the classic novel, "To Kill A Mockingbird," by Harper Lee, according to The Tennessean. Some sensitive parent has issue with the tale of a young girl learning about race in a small Southern town. The little girl, Scout, and the denizens of her hometown all have lessons to learn and Lee's tale keeps readers entranced from start to finish.
This parent, in true cowardly form, is pursuing the banning of the book from a school library as an anonymous judge and jury.
Check out the story.
Thanks to Newscoma for bringing this to my attention.

Mano-a-mano with a monkey

2006-01-27T07:35:00.000-08:00

You know, it's not just any day you have a monkey make an appearance in your working environment. And, no, I'm not referring to some human jerk who upsets the entire staff. I'm talking about an actual swing-from-its-tail, chattering monkey.
We had a woman bring a Capuchin Monkey into our office yesterday.
A diaper-wearing, sucker-licking monkey.

No, the circus wasn't traveling through town. No, not a man in a gorilla suit bringing a singing telegram. No, the zoo didn't have an escaped primate. Heck, our town doesn't even have a zoo, not even a peetting zoo for that matter, or a singing telegram service.

This woman with the monkey, from what I understand, is sort of a temporary foster care mother for this little 10-month-old Capuchin. It's not the first one she has taken into her home.

Talk about making whatever limited productivity was occurring in our office grind to a halt. Bring a cute monkey, even without roller skates or a cowboy hat and chaps, into a workplace and everyone takes a timeout from their desk.

As best I can recall in my foggy, hazy, lurid past, this is the first time I've ever touched a monkey. (Attention all of you with a penchant for double entendres, please keep your mind out of the gutter at this point.) I'm pretty sure, I would have recalled such a human-to-primate encounter. And dang it, not one person got a picture of me going mano-a-mano with the monkey, so you'll just have to take my word on it.

Polecat promenade

2006-01-25T04:41:00.000-08:00

Living in rural West Tennessee means traveling many a side road, back road, trail and track to get where you need to go. Even the main roads are pretty off the beaten path.

One certainty of auto commuting this time of year is frequent olfactory encounters with the permeating musky aroma of the skunk. It seems that late January and early February brings out the frisky nature in this woodland critter. And blinded by love, the search for the perfect mate and or the need to procreate and fornicate, these polecats forget to look both ways before crossing the highways and byways, resulting in an inordinate number of aromatic road kill.

Or maybe those left scattered around the pavement are the skunks spurned by forest love gone wrong that have flung themselves in front of oncoming Ram trucks in an effort to end their pining for a black-and-white mate.

Either way, they keep my nose busy on the way to and from the office.

Love gone wrong is always so sad.

Cravin' a trip to Cravens World

2006-01-24T14:08:00.000-08:00

As Squirrel Queen, it's not often I admit my flawed human nature, but today I must. I've been remiss and I now genuflect before you, begging for mercy and forgiveness.

I have delayed too long in providing you the path to Cravens World.
Cravens provides political cartoons for the newspaper I work for. Her work is one of a kind. Very often political. Always creative and thought provoking. Usually stirring the stink.

The sketch above this post flowed out of her pen as her bit of tribute to honor my birthday. A fine gift it is.

Take a trip into her mind.

Now.

I command you.

howdy

2006-01-24T05:32:00.000-08:00

As I was obsessively perusing my blog's site meter, hoping, wishing, dreaming that I can convert more into the Squirrel church, I noticed I had an inordinate number of visits from the Nashvegas area.

Looking at my referrals, most seemed to pay a visit to my little shrine via the Nashville Is Talking web site. With the knowledge that my partner Newscoma may have posted something dubious about my kinship with the fine furry frolickers of the parks, I surfed over to N.I.T. to see if she'd, onece again, besmirched my legion.

To my surprise I discovered that I had been added to the blog roll. Another celebration ensued at the hacienda. The flying squirrels were soaring, sprinkling confetti like it was the Super Bowl. The rest of the squirrels broke into their stash, hauling out all the extra acorns they'd put back for winter. Disco blared from the speakers. What? You didn't know the squirrels love the disco tunes? Oh, my friends. You have much to learn about the squirrels.

Many thanks to all who visit. Welcome and come back anytime.

Oh yeah, the squirrels say thanks too.

rough weekend for Raider Nation

2006-01-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

As a long-time Raider fan, this weekend has been rough.
I've had to watch three Raider rivals play for a chance to go to the Super Bowl while Al Davis' team continues to enjoy a really long off-season. The only good thing about the Steelers winning the AFC Championship game Sunday afternoon to earn a trip to the Super Bowl is the fact that the Broncos won't get to make that trip. Getting to watch Mike Shanahan suffer almost made it worth having to endure a Steeler celebration. Then came the NFC game that saw another Raider rival hit the gridiron. Yes, Seattle, once a common AFC West foe for Oakland, is a dominant team in the NFC.

Heck, the Raiders' off-season is stretching and stretching onward. The Silver and Black have been "off" for several seasons now. It's becoming hard to even recall a time when they were on.

Something smells rotten in Raider Nation. It can't get much bleaker in the Black Hole.

living the high life

2006-01-22T14:27:00.000-08:00

It's about 24 hours since the first guest arrived yesterday.
I'm still relishing the event.
Lo, though I am the Squirrel Queen every day of the week, yesterday I was truly treated like royalty.

A special gathering all centered around me. A rarity. I'm really not used to it.
A good time was had by all, and that's the best present of all for me.